It hasn't quite been a week since I posted. I'm up 1.5 pounds. Grrr. I'll throw a little blame on my period starting. Jennie, thanks for telling us that this throws you off too. All day yesterday I was so tired and ready to rip everyone's head off. Poor Tate. He got the brunt of it, I'm afraid. It helps when I realize what's going on. Sometimes I don't, and I wonder if I'm losing my mind! I'm afraid I'll have to attribute the rest of that to Girl Scout cookies.
I'm doing well with my exercise. Yesterday I was going to stop riding my bike after 30 minutes and then I just decided to go on to my goal of 1000 calories, which I got to in another 23 minutes or so. I'd like to see the results of that at some point. I'm going to go ride again when I finish this post. And I've done well at not eating at night after dinner over the last few days. That is starting to feel like a habit, which is amazing. Most things that are hard never start to feel habitual for me.
I've been thinking today about the way I see myself. Sometimes it is difficult for me to feel like I have an accurate picture of myself. For example, what does my body actually look like? Am I blimp or a toothpick? On the same day practically, I can see myself as both, so where exactly does the truth lie? I feel that same difficulty in accurately assessing myself in other areas too. Do people perceive me as kind or haughty? Sincere or insincere? Where do I really stand in my relationship with God? Am I following His path or just fooling myself that I am? This is something I've thought about for a long time. I pray about it and think about it a lot, but I seem to just go around in circles.
What are your thoughts? Do you have ways that help you see yourself more clearly? Please, share them with me?
So much of how I see myself is how I feel. I know it can be conflicting sometimes. I just want you to know that you are one of the most sincere, real people I know. I have always appreciated your kindness. You are an example to me of someone following His path. You always are doing your best and I love that! I know that isn't a lot of help, but I am going to keep thinking on this :)
ReplyDeleteJennie, thank you so much. I wasn't fishing for compliments, but I'll certainly take them. I really appreciate you.
ReplyDeleteMauri! I just wanted to reach out and hug you. Then I wanted to grab you by the shoulders, look you straight in the eye (well sort of) and remind you "Who cares what other people think?" You will never be able to control the thoughts of others. What do you think of yourself? It is good to always have a goal to be different.....better but try not to get bogged down in it. Those who KNOW you, love you just the way you are. I have a motto, I am who I am. Some people will like me and some people will not. I am aware of my own faults, some I choose to work on and some will just have to wait until I can find the effort and energy to work on them. I am terrible with mood swings when it's THAT time of the month. I have been charting my dates and when I really start to feel out of control of my emotions I go straight to the calander....and YEP, it knows more about me than I do sometimes. :o)
ReplyDeleteYou are an exceptional person! I admire your calmness and love for others. And to be honest, I was surprised that you were on this blog. I would have never guessed you wanted to lose weight. You look great!
With love,
Tara